How to Write Landing Page Copy That Converts

Four mistakes that are costing you conversions and expert advice on how to avoid them

You’ve got a brilliant product or service to sell, a memorable logo and the slickest template on Squarespace. So why is your landing page failing to, er, land?

As it happens, getting people to click from A (your landing page) to B (anywhere else on the site) isn’t as easy as it seems. Potential pitfalls threaten to stop visitors to your site in their tracks, crippling your conversion rates – aka sales.

Here, we’ll take three of the most common mistakes and see how you can avoid them and create landing page copy that does the business.

What should a landing page include?

But first, let’s get back to basics. What should a landing page actually include?

-Header: should clearly and concisely state your offer – your value proposition
-Subhead: can add a few benefits that your product or service will provide
-Call to action (CTA): should get straight to the point. What will your customer gain by clicking?

You might also want to include a form to get people to sign up with their email there and then, and maybe some social proof like a testimonial. But these are the essential elements to an effective landing page.

So where does it all go wrong…?

Mistake 1: Unclear value proposition

Whether you want to collect leads, drive sales or something completely different, your landing page needs to compel visitors to take action. But too many bury the important stuff halfway down the page underneath a gimmicky, confusing headline. A clever but meaningless bit of wordplay that leaves the audience none the wiser and quickly heading elsewhere.

Talk about falling at the first hurdle.

Take telecom company Frontier Communications’ old landing page (they’ve since changed it). A classic case of a headline that goes for clever over clear.

Many also dilute their message with weak adjectives like ‘best this’ or ‘industry-leading that’, and focus on fancy features rather than what the audience stands to gain. It’s a sure-fire way to send people packing. Visitors to your site need to know exactly what you’re about and why it’s relevant to them the second they arrive. Only then will they feel compelled to learn more.

The fix: Get to the point
And fast. Your header should communicate what you’re about quickly and simply so your audience is immediately dying to know more. Hook them in by leading with your biggest benefit – the thing they need which solves a problem and makes their life or business better. Then use your subhead to show why that’s relevant to them.

Don’t say ‘the best broadband provider around’, say ‘faster downloads when you need them most’. This way, you’re immediately useful to your audience and they’ll be much more likely to tap through to find out more.

Google docs nails this by clearly outlining in the header and subhead what they do and why it benefits the customer.

Mistake 2: Generic/ineffective call to action (CTA)

Your CTA is possibly the most vital element of your landing page as it drives the customer on to the next stage of the journey. No matter how convincing your headline and subhead, if the CTA fails, then your customers are offski.

When are CTAs bad? When they’re weak, unconvincing and ignore the customers’ needs or concerns. When they bang on about fancy features and demand too much personal information upfront.

Think of it like a bad first date. Someone who just talks about themselves, doesn’t care what makes you tick and asks for your vital statistics before the starters have arrived is unlikely to get a second date.

The clue’s in the name. Your CTA should spell out a clear actionable goal that motivates someone to tap the button. Generic CTAs like ‘Continue’ or ‘next’ give your customer nothing to go on. And a self-serving CTA such as 'sign up’ doesn’t tell your customer what’s in it for them. And it’s a long shot at this stage to expect someone to take the next step with little to tempt them.

The fix: Focus on value
A strong CTA, on the other hand, shows the value they’ll receive by taking the action.
‘Create my free account’ tells you the action and that it’s free to do. And you can up the stakes even higher. ‘Schedule a free consultation’ could be improved to ‘Get my free marketing plan’ – the action and outcome – aka value – rolled into one. With a little personalisation to boot.

Your CTA is also a chance to reaffirm your core benefit, not feature, remember. A button that says ‘More data’ is hardly click-inducing. ‘Organise and monetise your data’ is. And you can use them to address potential concerns; ‘start for free – no credit card required’ tempers anxieties about giving out financial details, for example.

A fantastic CTA hack is to use the first-person voice. Using ‘my’ rather than ‘your’ puts control in the customers’ hands and makes them feel empowered to take action. In fact, ContentVerve saw a 90 per cent increase in their click-through rate by using ‘Start my free 30-day trial’ instead of ‘Start your free 30-day trial.’

Website monitoring tool Crazy Egg’s CTA ticks all the boxes. Spelling out several benefits in simple language and using the customer’s voice compellingly in the button itself.

Mistake 3: Not tailoring copy to your audience

Big mistake number three is using your copy to talk about how great your product or service is rather than how it can benefit your audience. In other words, leading with features not benefits.

It’s natural to want to show off a bit. But the truth is no one cares how innovative your product or service is – they only care about how it can benefit them. Ignore this fact and your audience will feel dismissed and promptly tap the back button.

The fix: Show you ‘get’ them
Focussing on benefits, however, unlocks the power of emotion by tapping into people's fears, desires, hopes and frustrations. It shows you understand, and more importantly care about, your audience. Benefits make them think ‘yes, that will make my life or business better, cooler, more fun, easier – I’ll buy it’.

Slack’s landing page is a great example.

Their hard-working header and subhead speak directly to the millions of employees frustrated with inefficient and overwhelming workplace communication. By sparking an emotional connection with their audience, they make them sit up and take notice.

To connect with your customer in this way, you need to speak their language. And to do this you have to know them inside out. So before you do anything, define your target audience – what are their values and goals? What would a day in their life look like? What are the problems they might face?

Then use those insights to shape your copy. Home in on those pain points, then add value straight away, using plain, jargon-free language – ‘stop paying full price on software’, ‘earn extra income on a schedule that works for you’, for example.

Mistake 4: Talking like a robot

In at number five, a howler that relates to our previous mistake as it’s a major turn-off for audiences: using formal, jargon-heavy language and corporate speak. People fall into this trap because they think it makes them sound like they know what they’re talking about. They use formal language in an effort to sound professional and industry-specific terms to show off their expertise. They’re the experts, so people will want to listen, right? Wrong.

This style of writing actually alienates your customer. It’s robotic, cold and lifeless – not to mention pretty darn confusing. Buzzwords and jargon mean nothing to the average person, so your potential customers end up feeling like they’re in the wrong place and swiftly seek a solution to their problem on another website.

There are lots of things wrong with this landing page but the clunky jargon-filled language is the worst offence.

The fix: Speak like a human!
We’re not saying you should go all matey-matey with your marketing speak – there’s nothing worse than the ‘hey pal!’ kind of messaging – just use words everyone can understand.

Your customers want to feel like you’re talking to them, not at them. So write like you’re talking to a human, because you are talking to a human. Read your copy out loud and if it makes you feel uncomfortable or just feels off, it’s not right. Keep re-writing until it sounds natural coming out of your mouth.

Of course, you can tailor the language and tone to your audience. You won’t always be talking to the average Joe or Joanna, but even if you’re targeting CEOs, you can be professional without being dry. Remember, CEOs are people, too! So stop talking about ‘integrated solutions’, ‘game-changing’ this or ‘innovative’ that and explain what you do as if you’re telling your parents.

Express VPN does this well. And it gets to the point too!

Apart from anything else, industry jargon makes you sound cold and impersonal. It’s just not very friendly. Your audience won’t feel engaged so they’ll lose interest. Every piece of copy is a chance to let your personality shine so bring your uniqueness to the table and watch the sales roll in.

It takes work, but follow these dos and don’ts and you’ll be well on your way to landing page copy that gets real results. But if you want more help, join Paul Anglin in his Domestika courses for plenty more tips and practical exercises to improve your copywriting.

This article was written by the Senior Copywriter Paul Anglin (@paulanglin). To learn copywriting techniques, sign up for Paul's Domestika course Copywriting for Social Media and Tone of Voice in Copywriting for Brands – and keep an eye out for his upcoming course on Better Business Writing.

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