czuczu

I think that I've never been a child, that I was born an "adult".
My parents were born during the II World War, and when I was born, they were already in their late 40's.
I never played with other children, and also had no time for creative playing. Instead, I was studying a lot at state school and a music school in the afternoons.
Always serious. Always responsible, no matter the age.
As an adult, I continue to do "serious things" - I'm a national security & foreign affairs analyst. Whatever project I got into, I always had to engage on 101%. When travelling - I had to start a professional travel blog that consumed all my free time. When learning to play accordion - joining music sessions wasn't enough, I had to have my own band, my own repertoire. I never played any game, even a video game - it was a waste of time.

When I was in Tanzania in 2014, enjoying a warm, sunny winter out of Europe (and working as a volunteer at missionary school), one of the friars living at our mission asked me: "what do you do for fun?" and I felt embarrassed by this question, because I couldn't find any answer.

Then, things have changed. Two years ago, I became a mother of a child with a chronic disease. Life became tougher than ever before. I learnt how limited our resources are, if we don't replenish them every day. The pandemic came, and we started spending even more time at home. Because our abilities to travel became quite limited, I tried to teach my son about the world through children's books and I re-discovered them. Sometimes I feel like I'm re-inventing my childhood while taking care of my son. We read, play music, sing, dance, pick up flowers or lay down in the grass.

I was never good at painting. Despite several attempts, I've never "mastered it" and I'm thankful for that. Now, with no need to be perfect at everything that I do, I can enjoy my attempts in arts with no fear that "I'll fail", or that I'll "have to" do my best, practise a lot or prove anything to anyone. When my son's asleep, and I'm not too tired, I open my sketchbook and dive into the world of freedom and imperfection ;) and I slowly learn to enjoy doing things just for the sake of doing them.

What I wish for is that one day I'll be able to freely portrait our microadventures, my feelings, but also my dreams. To do some art for my son - just for fun. Daily life journaling (illustrated shopping list? 😉), gratitude journaling, even plant growth journaling may be fun too!

My inspirations are nature, traditional culture, my previous travels and children's books illustrations. I'm also influenced by Japanese art of objects of everyday use, like ceramics, furoshiki & tenugui, and the way of rural life (inaka) in general.