Hi Becky! Thank you very much for uploading your story. I congratulate you for having finished the course, I hope it has served you and you have been happy.
I really liked the story and your way of telling it. Not only do you look calm, totally in charge of your narration, but you also see that you enjoy it and that is transmitted and allows one to enjoy it with you. I confess that at the minute I forgot that I had to evaluate the story, haha, I just got carried away and had to listen to the story again to pay attention to details. There isn't much: I think you have a very developed inner storyteller. The story is well chosen, it is simple and "resultón", as they say in Spain. What audience would you tell it to? That can be a theme: it's not that childish, but the pee and poop part can make it look like that. It is not so adult, for the same reason and because it is too simple. I think it's a good story to practice, it's also short and easy to follow, but maybe next time I'd look for one that goes a little further in the echoes it can leave on the listener.
I also think that to have more variety in the narrating voice, you could have some voices or excerpts from the story that narrate faster: more chaotic and less correct. I imagine that the servants, nervous and upset, could all speak at the same time, "disordering" the story a bit to give another rhythm and nuances, and to let us really feel the fear they had. You are so calm narrating that, perhaps, no one will come to think that things are going to end badly, haha.
They are minimal comments, in any case, because I think you have the fundamentals: the story is understood, flows, entertains; you look into the eyes (at the screen), you use your hands well, you are confident and it is pleasant to listen to you. You have almost no hesitation... Very, very good. Congratulations.
A big hug!
Andrew
Wow Andrew! until today I see your answer! Thank you very much, your words touch me very much. Thank you very much for the constructive criticism, I will take it into account. ❤️
3 comments
First problem: I didn't manage to count it in 4 minutes.
Second problem: the video quality is not as good as I wanted.
Could it be that the teacher fails me?! I'm as scared as the king's servants...
Hi Becky! Thank you very much for uploading your story. I congratulate you for having finished the course, I hope it has served you and you have been happy.
I really liked the story and your way of telling it. Not only do you look calm, totally in charge of your narration, but you also see that you enjoy it and that is transmitted and allows one to enjoy it with you. I confess that at the minute I forgot that I had to evaluate the story, haha, I just got carried away and had to listen to the story again to pay attention to details. There isn't much: I think you have a very developed inner storyteller. The story is well chosen, it is simple and "resultón", as they say in Spain. What audience would you tell it to? That can be a theme: it's not that childish, but the pee and poop part can make it look like that. It is not so adult, for the same reason and because it is too simple. I think it's a good story to practice, it's also short and easy to follow, but maybe next time I'd look for one that goes a little further in the echoes it can leave on the listener.
I also think that to have more variety in the narrating voice, you could have some voices or excerpts from the story that narrate faster: more chaotic and less correct. I imagine that the servants, nervous and upset, could all speak at the same time, "disordering" the story a bit to give another rhythm and nuances, and to let us really feel the fear they had. You are so calm narrating that, perhaps, no one will come to think that things are going to end badly, haha.
They are minimal comments, in any case, because I think you have the fundamentals: the story is understood, flows, entertains; you look into the eyes (at the screen), you use your hands well, you are confident and it is pleasant to listen to you. You have almost no hesitation... Very, very good. Congratulations.
A big hug!
Andrew
Wow Andrew! until today I see your answer! Thank you very much, your words touch me very much. Thank you very much for the constructive criticism, I will take it into account. ❤️
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