Le'Anne Tan

I did my Foundation in Art and Design then graduated as an interior designer + quantity surveyor. I am currently working for my parents in Malaysia, where majority of our business is carpentry and interior renovation works. My role now isn't to do with a lot of creating art and designs, it is really mundane where I work with numbers on Excel sheets.

During the lockdown, I have been able to reflect on myself but to the point where I overthink and I believed I gave myself a minor depression, worthless at my age. My initial plan was to move to the UK but I couldn't get a job, my parents' cut my pay plus the lockdown of the international border control wasn't helping, I have been separated from my boyfriend who is in the UK and we are still hoping for that day where we could reunite. It has been 1 year and 5 months, still counting. It hasn't been busy, I became really toxic, sparking up dramas for no apparent reasons, questioning the relationship, forcing us to make plans and spending more time virtually. It creates so much toxicity and negativity in our relationship which it shouldn't have if the pandemic did not exist. We wouldn't have any issues like this as we had started our long distance since 2019, we were in a very happy place, no dramas.

Enough said, with so many rejections of the UK job applications, I was so fed up to the point to believe I am not a worthless person, why am I feeling crappy of myself over those losers who couldn't see my worth. So I decided on just biting the bullet with my relationship for the time being, chose to stay to help with my parents' business, to get through this tough time as this may potentially be mine in the future, why am I throwing away a foundation that has already been built.

While decided to do so, I wanted to keep my mind busy, for not overthinking things including the time of being apart with no power of knowing when can we be reunited. I actually got myself a dog, invested SO much time into her, and it was all worth it, I found my happiness. So how does that relate to being inspired to draw or learning a new skill? Well, with the cost of having a dog, wanting to do the best right by her, with a basic salary deduction and no other incomes, made me think I need to try and think of a better ways to earn a passive income. That made me research in the ways of how I can do that, and found a few ideas. Digital Illustrations and Photography plus utilising what resources I already have. I have been following a few artists, influencers, leading businesses for the past few months, made me think, actually I want to pick up drawing again, I want to design again, I enjoyed art and studied it when I was a kid until university, until my family business came in the way and I stopped. However, starting to draw and think creative have been a straight up ROAD BLOCK for me. It is like my "creative department" in the brain is dusty and vacant, with no cells left to function over the years.

That is why I am on here, to learn, to regain my creativity (I HOPE) while trying to put my mind off my relationship for the time being.

So yes, I think I sort of covered why am I on here with a super long winded explanation. Well, it did say that, so yes that is me too.