My project for course: Acting Techniques for Effective Communication
van Rudi Hartmann @hartmannruediger00
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Good evening!
The other text field here shows my analysis of the poem. Unfortunately, the table formatting was destroyed, my idea was to write down rach line of the poem, then describe what images I see, and driven by that how I thought I should act and speak that line.
Intentions were good but I was not happy with my execution. I am not entirely sure if I enjoy seeing myself on camera 😅
Boa noite,
Rudi
Course project
Ozymandias by Percy Bysshe Shelley
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone,
Stand in the desert.[d] Near them, on the sand
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away
Ozymandias is widely considered one of the most famous English poems, and I like it very much myself. The general form of this poem is that of a sonnet, a 14-line closed poem in iambic pentameter (diDUM diDUM diDUM diDUM diDUM). First coming up in Sicily, possibly under Saracen influence, the sonnet was made popular by Italian poet Francesco Petrarca in the 14th century. He would usually split the 14 lines into an octave (made up by two quatrains), followed by a sestet, in the rhyming scheme abba abba cdcdcd. The two quatrains would serve the purpose of exposition and development, respectively. The first line of the sestet was considered the “volta” or “turn”, where the sestet opposes and resolves the subject previously introduced in a sort of conclusion.
In England, Spenser changed the Petrarcan architecture of octave and sestet into three chained quatrains and a final couplet, in the rhyming pattern abab bcbc cdcd ee.
Further modifications were made by Shakespeare, keeping Spenser’s structure he however changed the rhyming pattern to abab cdcd efef gg, which in all honesty is a bit easier to put into rhyme. We would find two voltas, one in line 9 and another in line 13, and the final two lines would provide the epigrammatic solution. A typical example of this would be the most famous sonnet of all, sonnet No 18 “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day”
With “Ozymandias”, Shelley broke with his countryman’s tradition of the sonnet, almost going back to the Petrarcan structure. There are however some three big differences.
Firstly, he went for an altogether different rhyming scheme abab acdc ede fdf.
Secondly, his meter is a loose iambic pentameter, which generally means in some lines the diDUM iambic foot is being substituted by the occasional anapestic foot didiDUM. From what I can see, Shelley put that anapestic foot into line 10 “My name is Ozymandias, king of kings”, which carries 11 pronounced syllables instead of the normal 10.
And thirdly, some of his rhymes are slant rhymes. Which means they don’t rhyme properly, especially when spoken.
Text
Association
Acting
Speaking
I met a traveller from an antique land
Dusty guy, worn clothes, with a hunted look in his eyes (Haha, last bit is a bit too dramatic, Rudi)
The author has met the traveler probably in a dark tavern over a drink, so I will partially try to recreate that imagery: Footage shot in the dark with some indirect lighting, and not well lit as per general course instruction
With a glass of a liquor, looking at the glass, only then speaking into the camera,
Casual but also speaking like a man that passes on a secret
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone,
Stone almost the same colour as the desert, probably not sitting fully straight, and the sand piled up against them from one side.
Forming the two legs with my hands. Ah, less is more, casually use two half raised fingers
Stand in the desert.[d] Near them, on the sand
Slight side swipe with the hand
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
Face slightly eroded from the sandstorms, cracked, the feature more important than the legs not standing but lying half sunk…detached from the body, whose trunk appears to be missing.
Do the frown
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Do the wrinkled lip
Speak the “sneer of cold command” with a sneer. Revel in the alliteration
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
I see the sculptor, a student of humans and their behavior, instructed in what to convey but sneaking his own reading into it, since artists are nothing if not free spirits
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
Dismissive, vague hand gesture while saying lifeless things, with a slight headshake.
High intonation on “yet”; small break before “lifeless things” as if searching for the right expression
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed
Both the creator of the statue as well as the object are long gone…pars pro toto, naming two organs instead of the person
No gestures, just looking into the camera
And on the pedestal these words appear:
Hieroglyphs, adding mystery, half-erased, half covered by sand, difficult to decipher
Hand gesture, initially pointing, then following the scripture going along the hieroglyphs, squinting eyes, struggling to read
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Change posture to lifted chin which gives the camera a different angle to my face, try to show the frown, wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Speak loud with arrogance.
Very short break between “My name” and “is”. Almost sing the line as Gielgud did
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
I can see Ramses II directing these words at his contemporary adversaries, i.e.. the Hittites, Lybians and Nubians.
Hand gesture, pointing at imaginary cities and temples
Almost sing these words in a cadence, with a bit of dramatic vibrato, spit out the despair
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Strong juxtaposition between the previous line and this one…capture the irony
Maybe a wry smile/ironic laugh
Lead with a pause, maybe even looking around before speaking. Use the laughter while saying “nothing”
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
Revel in the alliteration
The lone and level sands stretch far away
After speaking the last line, look away from the camera, back to the drink.
Revel in the alliteration
Monotonous voice to “show” the lone and levels sands stretching into the distance, voice trailing off into a whisper.
2 opmerkingen
Hi @hartmannruediger00, thanks for sharing your project. You shouldn't worry about criticizing what you see. What I saw was a great video with a very nice poem interpreted. Very precise on what you wanted to accomplish with poetry. Congrats!
Excellent voice projection.
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