My Yoga Mat

My Yoga Mat

an essay about my mat and what it teaches me every time I step on to it

Laptop, G.Doc file.

In my small and cozy apartment, with soft music in the background, 68 inches in length and 24 inches in width, and me in Virabhadrasana I (Warrior I) position on it — the source of travel through the universe and everything within my body and mind. This will sound ironic — since this is my first essay in creative writing that I intend to publish — but I simply cannot find enough words to express the feeling the moment I step on it and start flowing into the next breath.
It is the space where I probably don’t judge myself — whether I’m good at it when I’m holding the asana, if I’m properly taking the breath in and out — this is the place where I just feel enough and truly present.
Now that I’m writing about it, I’m thinking of my meditation practice — to calm my thoughts down, to be present, to learn to let go of things, the first thoughts that come to mind the second I close my eyes. I meditate on my couch; somehow, it feels comfortable, but recently I started to notice that something is off, not as it was when I started to meditate three months ago. I feel that I’ve lost some connection, but I’m not sure whether this is the connection with myself, my breath, or the thoughts that I’m trying only to observe and let go — but it seems they bounce and come back, like a ping-pong game. Probably I should take it to my sacred mat, my happy place; maybe it would bring me that moment of stillness and awareness, present on it.
Thin in texture, soft violet-colored, and scratched in many spots by my cat, the mat gives me the most irreplaceable feeling of being fulfilled and being enough. I’m aware that I’m repeating myself, but even writing it down gives me pleasant chills, my eyes getting watery at this very moment just thinking about it — being enough! I wish I could take every single step with this feeling.
Indeed, that is the purpose of it — to take that energy, the wisdom that you feel on the mat, and practice it off the mat as well. I believe that is a lifelong journey, but awareness is the key to it. Even simply writing this down makes me go through this feeling and fill it with every cell in my body and soul.
This feels like meditating itself.
Then life comes with its daily tasks to carry on and fix, and repeat. I guess I just did another meditation today, except this time it was more focused and with stronger intention — the miracle of living the union of body and mind.
Perhaps the mat is just a mirror with a clear reflection on actions, focus, and awareness in and out of one’s being. Breath in and breath out - focus with intention, and repeat.