Sketching my 'To all the boys I loved before'

It was 2014 when I went down bad over a boy I met at a youth fellowship I was attending in college. He had long hair, a strong jawline, and dreamy eyes—the kind of eyes that even look good with eyebags. I kept attending services every Thursday and Sunday for about a year, just to see him. My obsession felt like a dopamine addiction, with extreme highs (“He just said hi to me!”) and crushing lows (“He will never be mine.”). Eventually, he disappeared for a year, and I had to focus on finishing college—but that feeling of longing never really left.

What somewhat healed me was picking up a pencil and drawing portraits of men. Back then, I had no training in crosshatching, no idea how to break the face into simple shapes, and definitely didn’t know you were supposed to draw both eyes at the same time. In short, I had zero technique.

Years later, I decided to pick up the pencil and sketchbook again (“surprise, surprise”) after a whirlwind experience with a guy I met online. His celebrity crush was JENNIE, and in a moment of wild hope, I told myself, I should draw JENNIE for him! So I did one sketch… and it was terrible. Whatever skills I had back then didn’t translate well anymore.

Out of desperation, I enrolled in this art course. Honestly, I no longer feel as strongly for the guy who likes JENNIE, but I decided to finish the course for myself. Watching a portrait artist at work made me realize just how much I’d been doing wrong back in 2013–14. For instance, I used to render one eye in full detail first and then hope the rest of the face would turn out okay. I now know there’s no one right way to draw faces, but there’s something deeply enriching about watching someone who’s truly put in the hours.

As part of the course, we were asked to draw portraits in three angles: full frontal, side profile, and 3/4 view. Here’s how it went, along with some reflections:

3/4 View: I think I failed to tilt the head correctly here. The lips could be fuller, and something seems off with the nose. Still, I’m proud of how the crosshatching turned out in some areas.

Side Profile: The model looks very young in the reference, but in my drawing, she ended up looking much older. I think I needed to tilt the head slightly more forward.

Full-Frontal: I drew the nose too far down from the eyes, and the face looks a bit masculine—kind of embarrassing. I also think the face should’ve been wider, but I placed the hair too close. Any tips so my hair doesn’t end up looking like a spaghetti wig?

I’ve been using a 2B pencil and a sketchbook for most of my work. Occasionally, I try ink versions—usually of just an eye or a nose. Here are some of my practice drawings. I find myself enjoying eyes the most; there’s something about how expressive they can be that really draws me in. Lips, on the other hand, are where I struggle the most—I definitely need more practice there. As for noses, they’re a hit or miss. Sometimes they turn out decent, and other times the shading ends up way too dramatic.

I think I am gonna try a little bit more. I tried to fight the urge to do more and upload better portraits, but I think I want to get this small win of having submitted these works. I think I will try to do more heads in different angle. Also, do you have a resource where I could learn the different shading techniques. Hit me up! And good luck with your work :)

Here's an overly stylized nose for you.