My project in Fine Art Self-Portrait Photography course - Titled "Torn"

My project in Fine Art Self-Portrait Photography course - Titled "Torn"

Help Table:

Currently, my brother has created drama and family tensions separating himself from our parents. He has caused so much pain and agony by refusing to communicate that he has put me in this middle-man position. I am now having two separate relationships: one with my parents, and one with him. Instead of seeing my family as one unit, it is now very divided and I want to express this in the form of multiple stacked images with a ripped paper effect.

Subjects that interest me and/or personal characteristics
Divided family (experience)

My experience with this theme
Torn and stuck in the middle - heart in two places; void

Construction of image intention
torn/crumpled paper; ripped in multiple directions - layered exposures

Script:

Intention
Show myself feeling divided with my family, stuck in between and having my heart in 2 places or feeling of some void. I am overwhelmed, stuck, torn.

Lighting
Light, subtle, not harsh - as natural as possible

Location
Minimalist - no background. I don’t have a studio, so I will be moving aside my couch and pinning a cloth on a wall for a backdrop.

Costume
Plain black tank top - minimalist no costume

Elements
No makeup, wrinkly backdrop cloth

Editing
Ripped paper, grain, crumpled paper textures, make the paper part the star.

Setting up the camera and taking the photos:

The plan was to have multiple layers, black and white, but with a ripped paper effect rather than a double exposure. I'm trying to show this emotion of being torn in a bunch of different places/directions. This was my first attempt with a brand new camera, too, so I was still learning what works and what doesn't (and still am). The setup I used was an old decorative and wrinkly cloth that I push-pinned against a wall in my house. I had no lighting equipment and used natural lighting and ceiling lights. I made numerous attempts and attached images from my process for a couple of my photos.

Uploading the images and the whole process couldn't load right, so I am only able to upload the final products of my project. The image that I felt really described how I was feeling was the rip in the pit of my stomach.