Obsessive Re-Packing: My Project for Exploratory Sketchbook

I am preparing for a walk of 500 miles, starting in Lisbon, Portugal and ending in Spain. This course was to help me in skills for observation during my travels to fill up my sketchbook with notes to later create a book about my pilgrimage.
This painting is of my nervousness and anxiety. I am packing and re-packing my bag, trying to adjust the weight, decide what must go and what can stay. I am also a very messy person, it is something I have been made to feel bad about. I am embracing the mess and chaos in this self portrait.
I challenged myself to use the art supplies I have packed to see if I like how they work. Doing this helped me edit out a rather heavy paint that cannot be re-wet after it dries. So already, my pack will be lighter. But now I want to pack all my colored pencils to add final details. Ha!